CINCINNATI, OH — A new study from the Center for Television Research shows humanity is deeply yearning for creators to produce more of the beloved '90s cartoon Animaniacs.

BETHSAIDA — Reports confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth had successfully fed a crowd of 5,000 men, plus women and children, using just five barley loaves and two small fish, achieving an estimated cost-per-serving of approximately $0.0039.