ANAHEIM, CA — To commemorate the team's record-setting 100-loss season, the Los Angeles Angels changed the "Big A" outside their stadium to a "Big L."

We are blessed to live in a world where movie stars, musicians, and celebrities of all stripes care so deeply about the oppressed people of the Middle East. There is such power in hearing these voices boldly call out injustice, wherever it may be.

U.S. — Toy giant Mattel unveiled its first-ever "Hanukkah Barbie" this week, confirming today that each doll will come complete with its own Jewish Space Laser.

TUCSON, AZ — Local man Steve Kenner was outraged at his yoga class this week, condemning the "provocative" clothing worn by the woman he was staring at.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Iran War will soon be over, said President Donald Trump, as he announced a plan to gift Iran with a giant wooden horse.

GLOUCESTERSHIRE — CNN reported an ugly example of racial profiling coming out of the UK last weekend, as a British farmer called the police on a group of Muslim men who were out for a Sunday drive.

KEARNEY, NE — The tide turned this morning in the upcoming national midterm elections after Beverly Franks from Nebraska put a political sign in her front yard.

HEAVEN — After his recent earthly passing, Rev. Richard O'Hara was surprised to find out that heaven is mostly filled with Amish people.

MIDDLE EAST — A ceasefire has taken hold in the Middle East after President Trump and Iran both forgot whose turn it was to bomb the other.

REDDING, CA — Sources revealed that Georgia Mendlerot was over the moon on Friday after her husband recited a verse from Song of Solomon comparing her to a horse.

Chinese President Xi Jinping visited the White House this week for some good old-fashioned diplomacy, but President Donald Trump wanted to help him feel as comfortable as possible.

NEW YORK, NY — As world leaders from around the globe were in the U.S. this week to attend the United Nations General Assembly, the Iranian president was reportedly caught using a cardboard cutout of the Ayatollah to sneak into the HOV lane.

FRANKLIN, TN — Local husband and father Greg Hartley, who came down with a case of the sniffles earlier this week, was officially listed as "questionable" for church attendance (or anything) this coming Sunday.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an address to GOP supporters on Friday, President Donald Trump outlined a bold strategy to rally conservative voters ahead of the upcoming midterm elections by launching a brand-new foreign war.

AMARILLO, TX — During the opening prayer of a Wednesday evening church service, local man Adrien Herald once again lost his train of thought as he began daydreaming about defending his congregation from Muslim terrorists.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A federal judge has overturned President Donald Trump's ban on assassins being allowed into the White House.

GALILEE — The disciples of Jesus of Nazareth got a big laugh after one of their own turned out to be a giant loser who couldn't even cast one demon out of a kid.